Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Spring Fashion in DC... ACK

Hello blog! How are you? It's been aaaaaages! I've missed you so! *hugs* *air kisses*


Sorry. Sometimes I anthropomorphize
(1) a tad too much.

And sometimes I get distracted by SAT words. In the immortal words of my sister...


*snicker* *snort* *guffaw*

(I know, I know -- WAY too easily amused!)

ANYWAY - I haven't written in a while, but over the last week or so, something has made me take note and start writing a post in my head. Basically, Spring has sprung in DC and apparently it has so addled people's brains that they are commiting the worst fashion fox passes EVER!

I freely admit that I'm guilty of my own faux pas, such as flip flops with dresses, sneakers with work clothes, a basic wardrobe of t-shirts and jeans/shorts, etc. So, I'm not a fashion plate in ANY sense of the word and could probably be greatly helped by Clinton and Stacy, but ... c'mon people! Do you look in a mirror?

OK, a few cases in point:
  1. Man on the metro, very nicely dressed in a suit and tie, dress shirt etc. And then he stands up and he's wearing JEANS! Seriously? Is it "casual day" only from the waist down? (And to make matters worse? He was wearing dress shoes!)
  2. Men at bars, on the metro, whereever... wearing jeans or khakis, button-down shirt, no tie and... a suit jacket. No, sorry, a suit jacket is NOT the same as a "sports" jacket. Just because it is shaped like a blazer does not mean it "goes" with jeans! And yes, this was not just one man, I saw this all over the place over the weekend.
  3. A woman on the metro in a very nice sleeveless silk sort-of-watercolor print dress, wearing nice pair of black mary-jane type heels... with white ankle socks! Hm. Going for a "cute, school-girly" look? Not working for you... and oh no! They AREN'T THE SAME PAIR OF SOCKS! AAAAGH!
  4. Last but not least... Let me set the scene for the most egregious case and the one that really prompted me to write: Easter Sunday, we go to the Marriott Wardman Park for a very nice champagne brunch. My friends and I are having a wonderful nosh when this teen girl walks in front of us on her way to the buffet. I turned, speechless, to my friend Kay, who was turning, speechless, to me. Oh. My. God! The girl was wearing a skirt so short the world's her gynecologist!(2) It was one of the bubble mini-skirts with ruffly things to make your ass look big (and did a great job too). It literally hugged her butt, and honey let me tell you, that was one butt that should not have been hugged! The poor teen was not fat, but she had enough heft to make that dress one of the worst decisions she'd made up to that point. Kay and I were just hoping she wouldn't bend over... "Oy, we're eatin' heeeere!"
And then we started feeling bad for being extremely catty on Easter Sunday. " I know I promised, Lord, never again. But I also know that YOU know what a weak-willed person I am. " (Name that movie!)

But seriously, does the girl not have a mirror? Or friends? Kay and I solemnly swore that we would NEVER let each other out of the house wearing anything close to that. That's what friends are for, right?


OH well - at least I haven't seen any women wearing white nylons yet. Yeah, I don't get it either. The only people who should wear white nylons are nurses, and I don't think even THAT is true anymore!

Let's review, shall we?
Men: Suit coats go with suit pants. Sports coats go with jeans or khakis. Sort of. Jeans shorts are right out.

Women: If you're going for something cutsey, you still need to be neat and clean and MATCH goldarnit!. And if you're going for the mini and your thighs meet at any point below the hem- RETHINK! NObody wants to see that! (My eyes, my eyes!)

And thank you Lord for knowing how weak-willed I am. Meow. I mean, Amen. :-)

OK - back to work, dear blogaroo. Keep in touch!

(1) SAT word of the day: anthropomorphism - The attribution of human motivation, characteristics, or behavior to inanimate objects, animals, or natural phenomena.
(2) Thank you Patsy in Absolutely Fabulous