I don't want to talk about it

Have you ever said that?  And then the person you're speaking with probes you for more information?  That drives me crazy.

I had to make a tough decision last week to NOT go on a vacation I had been looking forward to for a while.  The decision was based on some work issues and some personal stuff, but nothing major except that I was stressing out and having made the decision made me feel better. 

So, this guy at work -- not a close friend, but we had spoken about this vacation --  catches me in the kitchen and asks me if I am counting the days etc - so I told him that I had had to cancel it.  He asked me what happened.  I was in a rush, and just said, "Well, a combination of work and personal stuff, blah blah blah..." (Literally said "blah blah blah" as I'm re-filling my water bottle between meetings).

I figured that was it, but he came up to me and said, sotto voce:  "Soooo, what happened?"

"Um, well,"  I stepped back a bit, "I don't really want to get into it, OK?"

"So, was it work stuff?  Family stuff?"

*slightly long pause as I just stare him*

"As I said, I don't really want to talk about it right now, OK?  It's nothing awful, just ... ya know..."

"Oh.  OHHH!" he said as if whatever "it" was had just dawned on him, "Well, I hope it all gets better!"

...  and I walked away...

I walked back to my office thinking, "what part of "I don't really want to get into it" did you not understand?"  Is it me?  It's not like he's my closest friend who might understand it all, and it's also not like anyone is injured or anything, it's just that it was less stressful for me to decide NOT to go than to keep trying to go!  And it really isn't any of his business! 

Now, the big difference? When I talked about the same thing with my close friend, I did a bit of an experiment and said, "I don't really want to get into it, it was just some work stuff and some personal stuff."  She said, "Well, I understand that.  If you want to talk about it, just let me know -- but the main things is: do you feel better about having made the decision?"  

And THAT, my friends, is why she IS my close friend...  :-)