Basic Guidelines for Professional Sports

Last weekend, the Minnesota Vikings came to Washington, DC to play my Washington Redskins at Fedex Field and I overheard this conversation between my bartender friend (QOTJ), and a customer:

Customer:   "So, how do you feel about 'your boy' coming to town to play the Redskins?"
QOTJ:           "My boy?"
Customer:  "You know, Brett Favre, who you've been drooling over for years?"
QOTJ:          "Oh, I don't like him any more… he's kinda icky now."

I laughed at the conversation, but it got me thinking.  First, I agree that Brett Favre has gone down in my estimation because of his hijinks that were revealed this year (no pun intended).  He used to just seem like a pretty decent guy who could really play football.  And there was the whole "Something About Mary" thing (Favvrrvrrvr).  But now?  Skeezy.  Same with Tiger Woods.  And many, many other idiot superstar athletes.

I think Tiger Woods hit the nail on the head in his "apology" when he said basically that he thought he was better than everyone else and none of "that" (i.e. laws, ethics, humanity, decency) applied to him.  That  disgusts me. 

So, I started wondering why has there been such an epidemic of sex scandals, steroid scandals, criminal activity, and well, just general "better than thou" stupidity surrounding these so-called "role models"?

Not even to mention the fact that anyone could think it's a good idea to send pictures of their "junk" via email or text msg – sheesh!  First of all: EWwww! Second: Have they not learned that anything sent electronically will eventually end up on the Internet for public review?  (Again,  EWWWW!)

So, after all of this thinking, I have decided to give those poor overpaid prima donnas some help.

Gigs' Basic Guidelines for Professional Sports

Basic Truths

1. Playing a game really well does not make you better than anyone.   Seriously.
2. Money does not buy class.
3. Money does not buy love.
4. Money does not buy respect.
5. All money buys is room, board, and stuff.

Basic Guidelines for Players

1. Be thankful and humble that you are lucky enough to work in a business that pays you so much to play a game.
2. Be gracious, and don't boast.  Quiet talent is always more appreciated than loud and flamboyant boasting.  (Example: Art Monk)
   
• Corollary:  Do not go ballistic when you make a good play unless it puts points on the board or changes possession.  You are just doing your job, for Pete's sake!
3. Be a team player.  If you play in a team sport, you are not any better than the team with which you play.  You might be the most talented player on your team, but you can't win the game without all the other players.
4. Play fair, because cheaters suck.  If you want to be a better player, then train for it.  No steroids, no surreptitious filming, no pine tar, no blood doping or whatever the latest cheating mechanism is.
5. Use your mind, open your heart, and help your fellow man.
6. Respect your opponents.  They have trained just as much as you have for this competition.
7. Be a part of your community.  The people in your community are the people who come to see you play and they are more likely remember you forever if they know who you are OFF the field too.  (Example: Darryl Green)

Basic Guidelines for Team Owners*

1. You own the team, not the people.
2. Owning a team does not make you an expert in the game.  That's why you hire coaches and staff.
3. Hire the best people for the job, give them the resources they need to do it well, then let them do it.
4. If you keep your employees happy, they will be more likely to respect you and do their best for you.
5. You are responsible for keeping your customers (sometimes called "fans") happy and coming back.   They are not responsible to you.

*Can you tell I'm a Redskins fan?

Basic Guidelines for Parents

1. Sports stars are NOT role models for your kids.  They are human, and sometimes they make mistakes.
2. If your kid is ultra-talented, bring him/her up with the basic truths and guidelines above so they don't turn into the idiots in sports today.

Any additions?